Have you ever experienced losing someone? Perhaps one of your loved ones; your mother, your father, or anyone whom you loved and treasured in life. Isn’t it hurting?
It has been for a while since my beloved father had passed away. I still remember that sad feeling of letting him go. How I wish that God would bring him back again to life so that I can say thank you to him and tell him that I am very proud of him as my father. How I wish...but it had already happened. His death, although painful, must be accepted.
It was a sad reality that my father left us. I blamed God to allow such thing to happen. I still saw my father in the morning, but then in the afternoon he was already in the coffin. I felt like he abandoned me. I was, in some way, like a street child struggling to survive without someone to hold on but my very own self; to stand in my own feet.
This was perhaps the feeling of Jesus when He was on the cross, suffering for the salvation of mankind. It seemed like He was forgotten by His Father when He said: “Eloi! Eloi! Lema sabachtani?”(My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?). These words of Jesus show His humanity, His human frailty. He complains to the Father why He allowed such thing to happen to Him, His only beloved Son. However, this was not the end of the story; instead it brings us, if we would examine profoundly, to a deeper meaning.
In the mystery of Incarnation, Jesus’ coming into the world implies that He would have to undergo suffering, that is, His passion, death, and resurrection in order to save the humanity from the slavery of sin. When Jesus was sent by the Father, it is part and parcel of Jesus’ mission to face this reality of dying on the cross for the salvation of the world. His approval of death on the cross is the inexorable consequence of fidelity to His mission. However, it is but important to note that although He complained to God, He still in the end submit His entire will to the Father who sent Him. That is somehow the difference between my experience of being forsaken by God and Jesus’ experience of being forsaken by His Father.
The death of my father somehow hinders me to submit my will to the plan of God. I keep on insisting to be with my father where, in fact, he is now in heaven dwelling with the One who created him (who knows???). Somehow, I still have in my heart the pain of letting him go. I know that it would really take time to heal the wounded heart especially that it was still fresh in my memory. He died in a motorcycle accident on April 7, 2011.
Moreover, I am hoping and praying that despite my yearning to my father; God will accept him in heaven, to dwell with Him forever. Let us remember that God has always a plan for us; we need, on our part, to let His will be done for us.
Let go and let God! Amen.
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